There are plenty of one-liners in both the film and literary versions of the vampire story "Twilight" that are known to provoke eye rolls even among fans. But one particular sentence from lead bloodsucker Edward Cullen seems to stick with viewers and readers: "You're like my own personal brand of heroin.
While Cullen's profession of love to his mortal soulmate, Bella Swan, might seem over the top in every way, he's not totally off the mark.
As it turns out, like narcotics, love can absolutely be habit-forming and even compulsive. And if you've ever been in love, you've probably at least considered classifying the feeling as an addiction. And guess what: You were right. As it turns out, your gut feeling was right — scientists have spent decades discovering how the same chemical process at play in other kinds of addiction plays a role in why, when and how that takes place with addiction takes place when we fall in love.
The truth is, love isn't simply a societal construct or a silly concept that's central to over-the-top epic romances and cheesy rom-coms. Sexual activity might happen less often, but the effort you put into connecting intimately can make those moments even better. The relationship might seem to progress smoothly, even flawlessly, and the two of you seem to be on the same page about absolutely everything.
Eventually you may need to prioritize your partner slightly less to take care of daily life. But love means you keep trying and make an effort to show you care.
Loving someone can involve a sense of strong connection and trust. You know your partner well enough to rattle off their likes and dislikes, values, and strengths without a second thought. Sometimes you might even feel like a single unit. So, you know you love your partner, but you think you may not be in love with them any longer.
In fact, you might even feel a bit relieved to know your hormones have settled down a little. Some people prefer the excitement of being in love.
Others prefer the intimate, deep connection associated with long-term love. Many people work toward long-term relationships for this very reason. What you want out of a relationship may make one seem better than the other, but healthy relationships are possible with either. Research does suggest many people seek divorce after falling out of love. It just means you may need to put in a little extra effort to recharge things. Maybe you want sex to be more spontaneous, or feel excited about seeing your partner instead of comfortable.
Talking to a relationship counselor can help you rekindle the feeling of being in love, but these tips can also help:. After making it past the early stages of infatuation, your feelings for your partner might become less intense.
You may not long for their company in quite the same way. In fact, you might even enjoy time apart. Long-term love involves commitment. And you just might keep that actively in love feeling alive, too. Crystal Raypole has previously worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy.
Her fields of interest include Asian languages and literature, Japanese translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex positivity, and mental health.
Are dilated pupils really a sign of attraction? Romantic love and attraction can activate the brain's opioid system -- that's right, like heroin and opioid pain killers -- which is the part of the brain involved in "liking" something.
Scientists have suggested that this system may have evolved to help us choose the best mate by giving rise to rewarding feelings when we see that potential partner. Love can make your serotonin take a nosedive. Research has associated romantic love with low serotonin levels, which is also a central feature of obsessive-compulsive disorder. This could play a role in explaining the single-minded focus on the object of their affection that many lovers experience.
Love can zap your focus. Anyone who's been in love knows that it can be more than a little distracting, and now we understand why. Neuroscientists have linked passionate love with intense changes in emotion and attention, as well as reduced cognitive control -- meaning that you're less able to control your attention. Love can strengthen your empathy and ability to process emotions.
The type of love that's cultivated through the practice of loving-kindness meditation activates the brain's empathy and emotion-processing centers , while also reducing activity in brain areas associated with self-focused thought. Loving-kindness meditation also gets us in touch with our feelings by increasing gray matter volume in brain areas associated with emotion processing. When both pairs locked eyes, they were far more likely to report feelings of affection than when they were doing any other task.
The quick release of adrenaline we experience when we see the object of our affection can also make us blush. This hormone can make our blood vessels dilate, improving the flow of blood and oxygen throughout the body but also unfortunately turning our faces a telltale pink. Married people who took part in one large study were significantly less likely than singles to have heart attacks , regardless of their age.
Love alone, of course, may not have been the protective variable at work here: Married people are also significantly less likely than singles to smoke, and perhaps less likely to engage in other unhealthy habits as well. For you. World globe An icon of the world globe, indicating different international options.
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